I had kind of a hard day, a slow day, a not so communicative day. Cleaning the house with Noel. We had a hard time understanding one another and were just in different spaces, on different wavelengths, at different levels of energy. I felt really tired and worn down today, which happens a lot lately whenever I try to do too much. I can’t catch up on my sleep in the way that I used to.

And I had this giving thing on my mind all day, but no clear avenues. I left the house for about 10 minutes when I took Zoe to the park. It was cold. There are naps and meals and things to do here. And it just feels kind of cheap or wrong just to log on to the internet and find some site or cause and give a couple bucks — just not the right intention behind it.

So we put Zoe in the bath, and then Noel read her stories, and I went to check my inbox. I saw this little gift-wrapped blue hippo just sitting by my computer that I meant to give to a friend last Christmas. It’s just been hanging out here waiting for the right person. And I didn’t think that Noel would particularly like it, but I thought, hey, why not. I haven’t given anything else today, so I might as well try it. And if he doesn’t like it, I’ll just give it to someone else. You can do things like that with people you are so close to.

And I’m not sure he liked it so terribly much, but he sure appreciated it. The minute I gave him that little blue hippo, our whole dynamic shifted. I wasn’t expecting it at all and it was really amazing to see. He opened up, I opened up, and then there we were cuddling with each other and Zoe before bed.

How have I not known how much a little gift can do?